The Monetary and my Camer

My life has definitely taken a downturn, without a camera. My battery charger stopped working, and to replace it, would cost $80, the camera is 4 years old already. I really enjoy the camera, but my greedy, human self has a desire for something better, so I don't want to fork out any money for my old camera, and would rather wait till I can afford to buy a new one. Maybe affording isn't it, it's justifying it. Such an expensive gift for myself? That's a little selfish if you ask me. I would rather spend my hard earned money on someone else, it makes me feel less guilty. For some reason I have this guilt encrypted within myself, that spending money is bad. But oh how I dream about walking around with a giant strap around my neck, holding a beautiful camera lens in place. I would be able to photograph the beautiful sunsets, the rain, the nature, and my lovers freckles. Hmmm....I will try to manifest it. My mom and sister are coming to visit soon, they might feel sorry for me and get me a new camera. :)

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is somewhat uninteresting, I find myself at my PC, which will soon be a mac if all goes as planned...I sit in front of a spreadsheet consisting of 10 spreadsheets, all of which need to be filled out by today. Don't know where to start, it all looks like a maze to me, the numbers may as well be dancing. I am missing login information to certain sites where I can access specific numbers, which will be another 2-3 days till I receive, and the system is set up in such a way, previously that the other numbers I cannot derive at all. They are gone, never tracked properly. That is my challenge today. I am waiting on a response from three emails before I can proceed. Try to be productive in a disorganized organization....hmmm....yes, that is something we must all face. Keep motivated keep working hard, even though you get discouraged at every angle. Of course, once I am able to receive the numbers which I need, things will get even more exciting because then I get to use 5 different formulas which must all be concise. One error, and the entire spreadsheet is wrong, and it may take ages to find the error. So I have stated what my challenge is. Let's do this!

Drama Addiction

I think we all have a small amount of drama addiction. Why else, would people stay in unhealthy relationships, work at jobs they don't enjoy, or just take crap from any random person....instead of just running away. We dream of calm, when we are in realms of drama, but with that said, the moment, there is calm we look for drama or some sort of excitement. Where does this come from? Possibly, it is our constant desire to have attention, or on the other hand simply just have some sort of challenge? I am sure we have all felt a great deal of frustration, pain, anguish or tears due to drama. So the lesson should be learned, to just allow those gentle calm moments to be the way they are. They are enjoyable-so sit back and enjoy. Don't stir up the pot, don't add to it. It's the same, when you have made the perfect dish of food, or some amazing piece of artwork, and you try to add that one last finishing touch to make it better and it's not. It never works. When things are good calm and seemingly perfect there is no need to change that. It's not always about you ( someone once told me ;) and if you remember that, maybe you can relieve your life of some of it's drama and then at the same time bring some more calm, balance and beauty into your life in it's place.